As I am quickly approaching the halfway mark of this pregnancy, I've been focusing more and more on preparing myself - mind, spirit, and body - for this VBAC.
I've ultimately decided that the most important part of childbirth is trusting God. Through scripture, prayer, and fellowship with other Christian moms, I know I can eventually find a place of peace, comfort, and tranquility in childbirth that will make a VBAC possible.
I also know that there is a responsibility on my part, to take care of myself and my body, and prepare my mind. Today while meditating on this knowledge, I came to an awesome revelation about my childbirth experience! Praise God!
With a past of sexual abuse, which led to a careless sex life later on, I have a very unhealthy relationship with sex and my body. Until today, it never even occured to me that childbirth itself is a very sexual experience!
In order to prepare myself for January - I need to first focus on my sexual relationship with myself, God, and my husband. Once I can find a place of understanding regarding what God created us to do and be in marriage/childbearing, then I will be able to finally let him have complete control over my birth experience!
I will be spending lots of time looking up scripture on this, and I will try to remember to update this blog with what I find. I know that in the future, I will look back on this as an important part of my testimony and my walk with God.