18 weeks to go!

DISCLAIMER:
I am very aware of the fact that my 'due date' is simply an estimated time of arrival and am very prepared to have 20 weeks to go before the baby actually comes. :-)

SOoOoOo... 22 weeks in, and I recently started feeling overwhelmingly scared for my VBAC. (Even to the point of considering an RCS--repeat c-section!) It's been a very sudden worry, and while I'm entirely sure it's natural and normal, it still sucks!! :'(
However, I've used this newfound fear to encourage me to go in search of some statistical, factual information about the risks of VBAC vs RCS. I thought I'd share some of the info I found with anyone who might be reading my blog:
vbacfacts.com/quick-facts/
consensus.nih.gov/2010/images/vbac/...
givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a...
guideline.gov/content.aspx?f=rss&am...

**Special shout-out to my fellow moms on babycenter.com's VBAC support group board that gave me these links and have been especially supportive and informative throughout the past 22 weeks!!! Thanks ladies!!!**

After reading some (I haven't finished reading it all) of this information, I've begun to feel - once again - at peace with my desire for a VBAC. I think that, in the end, a TOL (trial of labor) is the best choice for this baby and I. However, I do think this is a wake up call for me to become more open-minded and realistic about the facts: There ARE risks, no matter what decision I make (VBAC or RCS). What I choose might Not work out the way I think it will, or want it to. I might end up in the OR after 30 hours of labor again. I need to be prepared for these kinds of things, while holding on to the hope and faith that God will bring me through this birth however He sees fit!

I know it's gonna be a long, hard road - as all of life is - But today I am giving thanks to God for the wisdom and strength that He is giving me through these everyday trials and decisions that I'm having to make. He is good and faithful, and I trust in Him alone.