This month was filled with lots of fun and excitement, and we are looking forward to what October has in store as well. This pregnancy is flying by, and I've been really putting effort into spending quality time with my precious little girl before the baby arrives. We went to visit family in Detroit last week, which was an absolute blast. We left daddy behind for our 'girls only' trip, and it was a perfect vacation for both of us. While I am, of course, anxiously waiting for January - I am also enjoying this precious time of creating memories for our dearly loved 'first child'.
While in Detroit, we did have a scare with a couple hours' worth of contractions - which ended up being a little mix of dehydration, exhaustion, and (TMI) constipation. I was glad to figure out the problem before heading to a hospital...That's a sure-fire way to ruin a vacation!
I've settled back into a pretty comfortable acceptance of my decision for a VBAC. I am confident in my body, and also very grateful for my OB's support. I know that I am making the best decision for my family, while also recognizing that there are risks associated with that decision, and that I will need to be very in tune with my body and trusting of my doctor when the time comes. I also need to accept that, no matter what my birth ends up looking like, it will be exactly what it needs to be to fulfill God's Will in my life. I trust Him in all things.
25 Weeks:*Only 15 weeks left to go! (remember how fast the first 15 went?!? Wow!)
*Baby is about 1.5 lbs, and the size of a rutabaga.
I'm feeling great, as long as I take care of myself and drink lots of water.
Baby is moving lots, and we are able to feel & see the movement from the outside now, which is super exciting.
Hopefully baby will 'flip' soon - I can't help but be worried about the baby being breech! Once the baby's flipped, I'll be able to settle down my nerves.
Love and Prayers! <3 XO.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
23 weeks / Ultrasound!
Isn't he/she adorable? (and fat?!) Hehehe :-) We can't wait to kiss all over those little cheekies!!! Nom, nom, nom...
ANYHOO-
Doctor's appt went well, pregnancy looking great all-around, and we couldn't be happier!
We spent yesterday at Plimouth Plantation, exploring an old pilgrim village, Native American homesite, and letting our adventurous little 2 year old run all around to play in dirt and stuff...It was a good time for all. Looking ahead at the next 4 months, we will be a pretty busy family. Between playdates, mom's groups, work, holidays, and trying to keep a fairly scheduled family homelife...Baby will be here before we know it!!!
It is my prayer that this week's post finds all of my unknown readers far & wide across the expansive internetz healthy & happy as well :-)
God bless!
Friday, September 7, 2012
18 weeks to go!
DISCLAIMER:
I am very aware of the fact that my 'due date' is simply an estimated time of arrival and am very prepared to have 20 weeks to go before the baby actually comes. :-)
SOoOoOo... 22 weeks in, and I recently started feeling overwhelmingly scared for my VBAC. (Even to the point of considering an RCS--repeat c-section!) It's been a very sudden worry, and while I'm entirely sure it's natural and normal, it still sucks!! :'(
However, I've used this newfound fear to encourage me to go in search of some statistical, factual information about the risks of VBAC vs RCS. I thought I'd share some of the info I found with anyone who might be reading my blog:
vbacfacts.com/quick-facts/
consensus.nih.gov/2010/images/vbac/...
givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a...
guideline.gov/content.aspx?f=rss&am...
**Special shout-out to my fellow moms on babycenter.com's VBAC support group board that gave me these links and have been especially supportive and informative throughout the past 22 weeks!!! Thanks ladies!!!**
After reading some (I haven't finished reading it all) of this information, I've begun to feel - once again - at peace with my desire for a VBAC. I think that, in the end, a TOL (trial of labor) is the best choice for this baby and I. However, I do think this is a wake up call for me to become more open-minded and realistic about the facts: There ARE risks, no matter what decision I make (VBAC or RCS). What I choose might Not work out the way I think it will, or want it to. I might end up in the OR after 30 hours of labor again. I need to be prepared for these kinds of things, while holding on to the hope and faith that God will bring me through this birth however He sees fit!
I know it's gonna be a long, hard road - as all of life is - But today I am giving thanks to God for the wisdom and strength that He is giving me through these everyday trials and decisions that I'm having to make. He is good and faithful, and I trust in Him alone.
I am very aware of the fact that my 'due date' is simply an estimated time of arrival and am very prepared to have 20 weeks to go before the baby actually comes. :-)
SOoOoOo... 22 weeks in, and I recently started feeling overwhelmingly scared for my VBAC. (Even to the point of considering an RCS--repeat c-section!) It's been a very sudden worry, and while I'm entirely sure it's natural and normal, it still sucks!! :'(
However, I've used this newfound fear to encourage me to go in search of some statistical, factual information about the risks of VBAC vs RCS. I thought I'd share some of the info I found with anyone who might be reading my blog:
vbacfacts.com/quick-facts/
consensus.nih.gov/2010/images/vbac/...
givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a...
guideline.gov/content.aspx?f=rss&am...
**Special shout-out to my fellow moms on babycenter.com's VBAC support group board that gave me these links and have been especially supportive and informative throughout the past 22 weeks!!! Thanks ladies!!!**
After reading some (I haven't finished reading it all) of this information, I've begun to feel - once again - at peace with my desire for a VBAC. I think that, in the end, a TOL (trial of labor) is the best choice for this baby and I. However, I do think this is a wake up call for me to become more open-minded and realistic about the facts: There ARE risks, no matter what decision I make (VBAC or RCS). What I choose might Not work out the way I think it will, or want it to. I might end up in the OR after 30 hours of labor again. I need to be prepared for these kinds of things, while holding on to the hope and faith that God will bring me through this birth however He sees fit!
I know it's gonna be a long, hard road - as all of life is - But today I am giving thanks to God for the wisdom and strength that He is giving me through these everyday trials and decisions that I'm having to make. He is good and faithful, and I trust in Him alone.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Survivors Giving Birth
http://mothersadvocate.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/i-will-survive-thoughts-on-survivors-giving-birth/
There is also a book I'd like to read about this.
I'm so excited to be finding these resources!!! I know that God has such a wonderful plan in my healing process!
Last night I came to the realization that I always referred to myself as a 'victim' of child sexual abuse. When I realized that these women on support groups/blogs were using the word "survivor" it made me uncomfortable. I said to my husband "It makes it sound like a terminal illness"...and he looked at me softly and responded, "It kind of is."
He's right. It is. I'll never outgrow this, the story will never go away - But it doesn't have to kill me. There is healing to be found. So many women/children don't survive. I am so thankful for my life. For the gift of healing. For my testimony that will someday help others who are struggling to survive.
I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor.
<3 "But women will be saved through childbearing - if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety".
There is also a book I'd like to read about this.
I'm so excited to be finding these resources!!! I know that God has such a wonderful plan in my healing process!
Last night I came to the realization that I always referred to myself as a 'victim' of child sexual abuse. When I realized that these women on support groups/blogs were using the word "survivor" it made me uncomfortable. I said to my husband "It makes it sound like a terminal illness"...and he looked at me softly and responded, "It kind of is."
He's right. It is. I'll never outgrow this, the story will never go away - But it doesn't have to kill me. There is healing to be found. So many women/children don't survive. I am so thankful for my life. For the gift of healing. For my testimony that will someday help others who are struggling to survive.
I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor.
<3 "But women will be saved through childbearing - if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety".
Saturday, August 25, 2012
20 weeks
Life has been SO fantastic since last Sunday's revelation! God is so wonderful and I'm beyond thankful for my relationship with Him. It has brought such a sense of comfort and security in our family...Hallelu Yah! :-)
There are times of struggle and DEFINITELY some times of attack from the enemy, but in Jesus' name I've been able to find the strength to stand against it. I only pray that I continue to grow in Him and fight satan in his evil schemes.
In pregnancy-related news:
I am feeling pretty good, tired all of the time still but nothing I can't handle.
Baby can be seen and felt moving at least once a day, which is so cute and reassuring.
No strange cravings or food adversions anymore.
Baby is the length of a banana and weighs about 10.5 ounces.
I am thinking it's a boy, but we'll see in a few short months :-)
My 2 year old LOVES to 'kiss the baby', and I'm getting very anxious to see how she reacts to big-sisterhood! I think she will do great!
I continue to do stretches and exercises to prepare my body for my VBAC, and have been looking into childbirth classes. I'm very excited to see how this journey ends - I know God has great things in store for me and my family!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
It Is Finished!
It happened..In God's time, not mine! I received "faith to walk on ocean's deep"...A revelation that It has already been Finished for me! There is nothing left for me to do in order to receive healing, or faith, or happiness...because Jesus already did it all on the cross! All I had to do was accept it!
We make things so much more difficult than they need to be, don't we? Us humans just think we are so complicated...when in reality, we are quite simple - in comparison to the great vastness of GOD, we are tiny! And He has made available to us all forgiveness and grace! Hallelujah!! <3
I am so grateful for God' presence in my life...and even more thankful for the price He paid for me on Calvary! I know that hardships will come, that satan will fight my faith, test it and try it, and that I will have hard times in this life. But I will always have God - who is the same today, yesterday, and forever - to return to. He is so good and faithful! And if I approach childbirth with this type of faith - this type of trust - then I know He will not fail me. No matter the outcome of my VBAC experience, I know that ALL things come together for the GOOD of those who Love Him!
We make things so much more difficult than they need to be, don't we? Us humans just think we are so complicated...when in reality, we are quite simple - in comparison to the great vastness of GOD, we are tiny! And He has made available to us all forgiveness and grace! Hallelujah!! <3
I am so grateful for God' presence in my life...and even more thankful for the price He paid for me on Calvary! I know that hardships will come, that satan will fight my faith, test it and try it, and that I will have hard times in this life. But I will always have God - who is the same today, yesterday, and forever - to return to. He is so good and faithful! And if I approach childbirth with this type of faith - this type of trust - then I know He will not fail me. No matter the outcome of my VBAC experience, I know that ALL things come together for the GOOD of those who Love Him!
Friday, August 17, 2012
19 Weeks!
As I am quickly approaching the halfway mark of this pregnancy, I've been focusing more and more on preparing myself - mind, spirit, and body - for this VBAC.
I've ultimately decided that the most important part of childbirth is trusting God. Through scripture, prayer, and fellowship with other Christian moms, I know I can eventually find a place of peace, comfort, and tranquility in childbirth that will make a VBAC possible.
I also know that there is a responsibility on my part, to take care of myself and my body, and prepare my mind. Today while meditating on this knowledge, I came to an awesome revelation about my childbirth experience! Praise God!
With a past of sexual abuse, which led to a careless sex life later on, I have a very unhealthy relationship with sex and my body. Until today, it never even occured to me that childbirth itself is a very sexual experience!
In order to prepare myself for January - I need to first focus on my sexual relationship with myself, God, and my husband. Once I can find a place of understanding regarding what God created us to do and be in marriage/childbearing, then I will be able to finally let him have complete control over my birth experience!
I will be spending lots of time looking up scripture on this, and I will try to remember to update this blog with what I find. I know that in the future, I will look back on this as an important part of my testimony and my walk with God.
I've ultimately decided that the most important part of childbirth is trusting God. Through scripture, prayer, and fellowship with other Christian moms, I know I can eventually find a place of peace, comfort, and tranquility in childbirth that will make a VBAC possible.
I also know that there is a responsibility on my part, to take care of myself and my body, and prepare my mind. Today while meditating on this knowledge, I came to an awesome revelation about my childbirth experience! Praise God!
With a past of sexual abuse, which led to a careless sex life later on, I have a very unhealthy relationship with sex and my body. Until today, it never even occured to me that childbirth itself is a very sexual experience!
In order to prepare myself for January - I need to first focus on my sexual relationship with myself, God, and my husband. Once I can find a place of understanding regarding what God created us to do and be in marriage/childbearing, then I will be able to finally let him have complete control over my birth experience!
I will be spending lots of time looking up scripture on this, and I will try to remember to update this blog with what I find. I know that in the future, I will look back on this as an important part of my testimony and my walk with God.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
17 weeks
The past couple of weeks have been joyfully eventful in the C household. We had my sister and her two boys in town for a bit, and filled their time here with all kinds of fun stuff: whale watching, sightseeing, Canobie Lake Park, Dave & Busters...It was definitely a fun-filled week!
I also have begun to feel regular movements in my rapidly growing belly, which is a welcomed reassurance every evening as I lay down for bed that all is well inside there. :-) My husband was even able to feel the baby move for the first time this week!!! We've got a very active little bean growin in there.
A friend of mine gave birth to her first, a girl, this week as well. She had a beautiful, quick, unmedicated hospital birth experience at the same hospital i had a my Csection at, which is also the hospital Im planning my VBAC at. I am SO proud of her and happy for her, and also encouraged by her birth story that the ideal birth IS possible, even in the hospital (a hospital with a nearly 50% Csection rate, nonetheless!)! To admit that I'm a tad bit jealous would be a severe understatement, BUT I know that those are only emotions of the enemy, and I won't allow them to control me!
This entire past two weeks have been enjoyable, exciting, and just a plain out blessing for so many people in my life. It's been a nice reminder that God is gracious, and that He is in control - That His plan for our lives is perfect and loving. I am so grateful to be His Child!
1Timothy2:15 <3 Only a little more than 4 months left to go! :)
I also have begun to feel regular movements in my rapidly growing belly, which is a welcomed reassurance every evening as I lay down for bed that all is well inside there. :-) My husband was even able to feel the baby move for the first time this week!!! We've got a very active little bean growin in there.
A friend of mine gave birth to her first, a girl, this week as well. She had a beautiful, quick, unmedicated hospital birth experience at the same hospital i had a my Csection at, which is also the hospital Im planning my VBAC at. I am SO proud of her and happy for her, and also encouraged by her birth story that the ideal birth IS possible, even in the hospital (a hospital with a nearly 50% Csection rate, nonetheless!)! To admit that I'm a tad bit jealous would be a severe understatement, BUT I know that those are only emotions of the enemy, and I won't allow them to control me!
This entire past two weeks have been enjoyable, exciting, and just a plain out blessing for so many people in my life. It's been a nice reminder that God is gracious, and that He is in control - That His plan for our lives is perfect and loving. I am so grateful to be His Child!
1Timothy2:15 <3 Only a little more than 4 months left to go! :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Week 15
My husband and I found out on April 29th 2012 that we were expecting this little bean, due mid-January 2013! He had returned home from a short-term mission trip in Haiti to two little positive tests. We are so ecstatic and thankful for God's blessing!
I have chosen 1 Timothy 2:15 as my pregnancy/childbirth scripture - "But woman shall be saved through childbearing - if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety."
I am planning for a natural, unmedicated VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Maybe one of these days I'll take the time to post my daughter's birth story. :-)
I've attached a recent picture of my little belly. I'm feeling pretty good these days - Tired, but nothing that wasn't expected. I got to hear the heartbeat for the first time today - Ultrasound in four weeks. <3
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